This week has been challenging. My family is transitioning back into roles that we used to do differently. Transitions are always difficult for me.

I’m now far more solo with cancer stuff and I’m still sick (and now have Covid) so my fear is something I have to barrel through. I am worn down, lonely, and tired of succeeding while looking at the same four walls and confused pets.

My war-torn kiddo is in her senior year of college & all of the feelings that go with school; graduation, her future, and — the mom she stopped her life for to make sure she could ONLY worry about life-saving things that were so obligatory — the drive to succeed was always force-felt by all.

A lot of cancer and ugly diagnoses made me have to barrel through feelings I hate but had to decide not to honor because I HAD to survive. Survival mode is very black & white.

That is placing me at risk of growing a callous to how difficult everyday life is for everyone else.

This is also very hypocritical of me because I know full well how difficult real, everyday life is; period.

That is something I need to put in check IMMEDIATELY because, before long; I’ll be the person who compares traumas like traumas are comparable.

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