Late at night, my trauma wakes up. When I’m sleepy, my memories turn into current visitors. Late at night, I don’t make big decisions about myself.

I used to spend time thinking that because my thoughts involved multiple layers of “true statements,” that the entire argument about my value, must be true.

I’m learning that much of the things I thought about myself, both good and bad; I literally am not capable of determining if they’re true or false. I’m almost 44 and feel like I’m starting over, learning what left and right is. Moral foundations and good, bad … so many heavy things come up so late at night.

Please, when it’s late and no one is there to help correct an incorrect thought. When that thought then becomes a thought PROCESS, and it then becomes a determination … remember the time that you first felt that thought.

Remember when you cannot be trusted to determine your worth. It’s usually late at night, or when you feel alone. That person isn’t you. That person is a collection of memories deciding if they’ll dream or be nightmares.

Your past is not you. It is merely chemical firings triggering impulses of shame; shames you’ve been forgiven for. Shames never once even remembered after you felt more whole with sincerity.

Late at night, when you’re closest to alone, look at the clock and see if it is betraying you. Clocks often are man made. Most of the clocks are. You are loved. You are valued. Your worth has no limit. Your potential is significant.